This is sort of a fun poke at the interesting world of buying and selling guitars on Ebay. Always an adventure, buying guitars site unseen is a relatively recent experience, especially for those of us that remember actually visiting REAL guitar shops that carried cool old gear. I’ve been buying and selling on Ebay for over ten years, and in that time I’ve noticed all sorts of ways people will describe a guitar, to basically say something without saying something, dig? Especially vintage guitars. You know, the kind we all like! I’ll get this started but I’d love for this to be collaborative, so if you have the same sense of humor then feel free to add the quips!! Here we go!!!
THE EBAY CODE BOOK!!
“Butter” As in, plays like butter. I still don’t know what this really means, but when someone uses this term I usually avoid the auction. I have to watch my cholesterol.
“Estate Find” Usually estate thievery. Man, I never find cool guitars at estate sales, but the people that prowl estate sales usually uncover cools tuff.
“Great Slide Guitar” Basically another way to say the neck is totally messed up and strings are buzzing like a hornet’s nest.
“Hen’s Teeth” As in, rare as hen’s teeth. Probably not that rare. Whenever I hear this, I think I my great grandfather who was from Austria, was mean as hell, and was literally a giant. If you said this to him, he’d probably punch you for “talking dumb.”
“Holy Grail” The impossible quest for the elusive grail seems to have found a home on many Ebay auctions. Implies rarity or desirability, or both. Usually neither. Again, look at the definition of Hen’s Teeth to see what would’ve happened to you if you said this around my great grandad.
“I Don’t Have an Amp to Test this Guitar” 90% of the time it’s cause the guitar don’t work!!
“Looks Original” Look again please…usually means stuff has been changed.
“Mojo” Usually means beat to hell, and not in a loving way.
“Original Strings” Back in the day, string gauges were really heavy and if the guitar has been strung to pitch, with the original strings, for the last 40 years, well, you know…
“Rare” The most overused word on Ebay. Most likely not rare.
“Ry Cooder” This poor guy’s name comes up all the time to increase the value of many Japanese pickups. The guy modded a few guitars with Japanese pickups and suddenly Ry played every type of Japanese pickup ever played. Also, I really despise name association to sell guitars.
“Slight Bow” As in, there’s a slight bow in the neck. Slight usually means the neck is shaped like a banana.
“Straight as an Arrow” Referring to the neck. Most people don’t even know what a good set-up is. People who mention this phrase also tend to say, “I don’t know much about guitars.”